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An Open Letter to Mother Nature

No more snow, freezing rain, slush, please.

Dear Mother Nature:

On behalf of all of us in Boston, I want to thank you for all the snow, slush and freezing rain you’ve dropped on us this winter. I think I speak for all of us when I say that it’s been a great pleasure digging out of our homes, shoveling out our cars and sloshing through slush to get to where we need to go in all of this white stuff.

Not to mention risking our lives pulling out of streets with obstructed views because of the four or five foot high snow banks. Oh, and I don’t want to forget how helpful all this snow has been to people, like myself, who are training for upcoming marathons. Running outside has never been more challenging. Yeah, all this snow – over 70 inches to date – has been a real treat.

So now that you’ve dumped an almost Shaq-sized amount of snow on us I have one simple request to ask of you: Please stop. We get it. We had a few easy winters with not a lot of snow and people got complacent and maybe a little cocky thinking you didn’t have it in you to clobber us with tons and tons of snow. We now know that this isn’t the case and we ask you – no, we beg you – to stop. We can’t take any more snow or wintry mixes. We’re all shoveled out. We’re tired and achy and frustrated.

Even the people who like snow are getting tired and worn out from all the snow. Sure, they may enjoy all this snow when they go sledding at or travel to nearby ski slopes, but to have it sitting right outside their doors is another thing. For the record, I’m not one of those people who enjoy the snow or the cold. In fact, I really, really dislike it and can’t imagine where we will put any more snow if we get it.

Do you have any ideas as to where it should all go? All you have to do is look in any backyard, front yard, side yard and you will see that we’ve simply run out of room. I mean, people are talking about dumping snow in the Boston Harbor (which I disagree with but I see the rationale). I have yet to see pictures of the snow yards but I’m sure they’re full. How can they not be?

Wait, I know! Your plan is to have Spring come extra early!! We all know that Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow and that, so the silly tradition goes, means only six more weeks of winter, but perhaps your plan is to have it come sooner. How about in four weeks? I’d actually prefer warmer weather now but I don’t want to push things. Four weeks seems reasonable. It’s just something to consider as you’re trying to decide if we should get hit with any other storms between now and the start of Spring. Anyway, I want to thank you in advance for changing your weather patterns to bring on an early and warm Spring. It’s much appreciated.

Yours Truly,

Seth

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